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Oh God Not Again! - Kapitola 13

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"Well," Harry said, thinking quickly. "I didn't feel that last year's games against Cedric and Cho were much of a test of my ability because on my broom could outfly their brooms any day of the week. In order to have more of a challenge, I decided to get them faster brooms. Knowing that the rest of their team would give them a hard time about accepting a gift from a rival Seeker and there would be talk of them throwing matches, I bought the rest of them brooms, too. And I couldn't possibly put Gryffindor at such a disadvantage by giving two-thirds of our competition state-of-the-art brooms and not giving ourselves anything, so I had to buy Gryffindor brooms as well. Since you already had a Nimbus 2000 from last year, it didn't even occur to me to get the rest of your team anything and so that was why it was really awkward when I realized sometime last week that my donation would seem like discrimination."
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"But now our advantage is gone," Draco hissed at him.
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"Think of it this way: if you hadn't bought the team brooms, you would get flattened in every match," Harry reassured him. "You saved Slytherin from a year of horribly humiliating slaughters."
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Draco brightened considerably at this and Harry could only imagine how long he was going to use his newfound 'Savior of Quidditch' status.
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"Since the Slytherins really do need to break in their new brooms and our teams' brooms are going to be presented at dinner ronight, I recommend that we just let them have the bloody pitch so I can go back to bed," Harry suggested.
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"It's ten o'clock, Harry," Hermione said, raising her eyebrows.
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"I know, but I only got two hours of sleep last night."
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Now everyone turned to stare at Wood.
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"What? I didn't wake them up until five," he defended.
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"The twins, Lee, Alicia, Katie, Angelina, and I were having a poker tournament last night that didn't end until three," Harry explained. "In order to build team solidarity, you understand. We would have asked you to join us, Wood, but we expected it to run late and you had announced at dinner that you were going to bed early." He paused. "Probably because you knew that we had a ridiculously early practice this morning and couldn't be bothered to tell us. Anyway, who here thinks going back to bed sounds like a great idea?"
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Six hands flew in the air. "I rest my case," Harry told Wood, the only one with his hand still at his side. "Next time we have a practice before nine, please tell us. After all, while you have a point about the weather being unpredictable during games, we WILL actually know what time the game is at least a week in advance so I don't see why you can't just make an announcement the night before."
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With that, he turned and started heading back to the castle.
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"Hey, mate," Ron called as he, Hermione, and Neville hurried after him.
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Ron rolled his eyes. "Yes you are. Every time she comes near you, you find some reason to immediately leave. Last week you even went over to sit with the Ravenclaws when she sat down across from you."
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"I…" Harry trailed off. He hadn't realized that he'd been avoiding Ginny, but thinking back, he supposed that that was exactly what he was doing. Who could blame him, though? If he hadn't gone back, little James or Lily would be celebrating their first birthday soon. Now they might never exist. On the bright side, since the baby had not actually be born, assuming that he and Ginny got around to having children again, he wouldn't be able to miss their child as a person, just as a what-might-have-been and he wouldn't be subconsciously comparing his old child with his new one and hating himself all the while.
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A pak tady byla samotná Ginny. Tentokrát neměla deník - díky bohu, jinak by si to musel přidat na seznam věcí, které si nikdy neodpustí, který začínal tím, že opustil Ginny a jejich nenarozené dítě a propadl se Závěsem - takže si nebyl jistý, jak ji vytrhnout z/zbavit toho uctívání hrdiny a místo toho pro ni být normálním člověkem. Obzvlášť když se jí zřejmě vyhýbal. Ale bylo v tom víc než to, že ho to otravovalo (koneckonců jednal s Lockhartem, jehož zvyk zhruba v každé druhé větě zmínit, jak úžasný je, mu brnkal na nervy), byla v tom... nejistota. A vina. Zamiloval se do té Ginny, která v jedenácti skoro rok odolávala Voldemortově viteálu, která mu ve třinácti navzdory téměř chybějícímu kontaktu mezi nimi bez otázek uvěřila, že se Voldemort vrátil, která s ním ve čtrnácti vyrazila na jeho sebevražednou misi na záchranu Siriuse, která v patnácti bojovala proti trénovaným Smrtijedům, když pronikli do Bradavic, a která v šestnácti byla jednou z vedoucích bradavického odboje, když hrad padl do rukou Smrtijedům, a zůstala v závěrečné bitvě proti všem Raddleovým bojovníkům. To byla ta dívka, do které se zamiloval. A i když by nikdy nechtěl, aby si tím musela projít znovu - ve skutečnosti už mimoděk zabránil tomu prvnímu - všechny ty věci byly součástí Ginny, když si konečně uvědomil, že existuje. Přestože byla pořád tím samým člověkem, obával se, že se bude snažit si touhle Ginny nahradit tu, kterou ztratil, a to by nebylo fér k nikomu z nich.

And then there was Ginny herself. She didn't have the diary this time around – thank God for that or he'd have to add that to the list of things he would never forgive himself for, beginning with abandoning Ginny and their unborn child to go through the Veil – so he wasn't sure just how to break her off her hero-worshiping and get her to see him as a normal person. Particularly as he was apparently avoiding her. But it was more than just annoyance (he was dealing with Lockhart, after all, and the man's habit of mentioning how great he was approximately once every other sentence did grate on his nerves), it was…uncertainty. And guilt. He fell in love with the Ginny that had held off full possession by Voldemort's Horcrux for almost a year at the age of eleven, who had, despite their almost complete lack of contact, believed him without question when he insisted Voldemort was back at the age of thirteen, who had gone with him on his suicidal plan to save Sirius when she was fourteen, who had battled full-fledged Death Eaters when they invaded Hogwarts at fifteen, and who had co-led the Hogwarts resistance when it had fallen under Death Eater control and stayed for the Final Battle against all of Riddle's forces when she was sixteen. THAT was the girl he had fallen in love with. And while he would never want her to go through all of that again – he had, in fact, inadvertently already stopped the first – they all played a part in making Ginny who she was when he finally realized that she existed. While she was still the same person, he was worried that he'd end up trying to use this Ginny to replace the other Ginny that he lost and that wasn't fair to either of them.
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Harry could see that Ron was still waiting for an answer and as he could never even hope to make the twelve-year-old understand, he found himself latching onto one of his reasons for staying away from her last time. Though, to be fair, she was a lot better at controlling her inner fangirl than she had been the first time. "I'm a little uncomfortable that your sister seems to see me as some sort of hero. I'm not, really. I'm just…a guy in some pretty extraordinary circumstances, that's all."
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"You don't mind Colin following you around," Neville pointed out. "And he acts far more enthralled with you than Ginny."
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"But *Colin* doesn't have a crush on me," Harry countered, crossing his arms.
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"I'm not too sure about that…" Ron muttered.
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"Be nice," Hermione admonished, swatting at Ron. "Personally, I think you're being very nice to Colin and I'm proud of you for that. Still, you're going to have to deal with a lot of girls having crushes on you, especially when we get older. Not only are you the Boy-Who-Lived, but you also attract a fair amount of attention through all of your various accomplishments and 'missions.'"
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"I know, I know," Harry held up his hands in surrender, too tired to continue the argument. "But I don't have to deal with any of them on a regular basis and since Ginny is Ron's sister, I *do* have to deal with her. But…" he sighed. "I'll try to stop avoiding Ginny. Happy now?"
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Three identical grins assured him that they were.
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